Whether we call it surrendering, letting go, or letting it be, surrender is literally the key to end suffering. The posts below explain why.

 


Let it Be: The Key to Happiness

2

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 22-03-2017

Tags: , , , ,

Let it Be!

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I once wrote a blog post on the topic of surrendering and letting go and how that was the secret to end suffering.

But you asked, “How do I do it? How do I let go?

My answer was always something along the lines of: How do you let go when falling asleep at night? And how do you let go when you don’t like the weather?

Even with these metaphors, surrendering or letting go still sounds like there’s something to do.

Recently, however, a colleague of mine said he’s been using the phrase “let it be” rather than “let go.”

I like it! Read the rest of this entry »

Why are We so Mean to Ourselves?

4

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Thought | Posted on 08-03-2017

Tags: , , , ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Mean Voice in Our Head

“You’re so dumb!” 

“You should know better.”

“You’re no good at that.”

“What makes you think you’re so great?”

Would you pay attention to and believe someone who said those things to you on a regular basis?

Probably not!

So why do you listen to and believe that voice in your head that says them?

Read the rest of this entry »

What About Preferences?

4

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Thought | Posted on 08-02-2017

Tags: , , , ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

In my last blog post, I pondered personal identity and what we think of as our true self. I wrote about how we’re not who we think we are, and that we can’t really define what or who our true self is–because there’s no such thing.

And then I went to Disney World.

Read the rest of this entry »

We Are Not Who (or What) We Think We Are

8

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 25-01-2017

Tags: , , , ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Not What We Think We AreI had a bit of an insight about our “true selves” last week which I’ll try to put into words here. I hope it makes some semblance of sense.

Here’s what I’ve seen…

As human beings, we are so wedded to our personality. Our individuality. Our identity. That part of us that seems to make us who we are. Our uniqueness. Our specialness.

Yet these aspects of us are also often our downfall. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Solve Problems and Make Decisions

2

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Thought | Posted on 11-01-2017

Tags: , , ,

Problem Solving[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

About a month ago a colleague was telling me about her business friend who picks up potential clients everywhere she goes. She seems to have perfected the art of meeting random people, telling them what she does for a living, and eventually signing them on as clients.

This peaked my curiosity as I’ve been struggling for what to say when people ask what I do. Often  I revert back to telling them about my old SEO career and how I’m now retired. Then I mumble something about what I’m up to these days. But overall, I haven’t felt very clear about it.

So I started thinking about what might be a good “elevator pitch” for the work I do now. As I pondered this a bit, it suddenly hit me: Read the rest of this entry »

Why Do We Need to Mind Our Own Business in the First Place?

7

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 19-10-2016

Tags: , , , , ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Why Do I Have to Keep My Mouth Shut?In a recent popular post I talked about how keeping our mouth shut when others seem to do or say things that bother us, can go a long way towards strengthening our relationships with them.

While this practice has been very helpful to me (when I remember) I can’t help but wonder…

Why am I’m bothered by them in the first place?

Read the rest of this entry »

Are You Ready To Change the Way You See the World?

2

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 05-10-2016

Tags: , , , ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Change the Way You See the WorldWhat if I told you that you’ve been lied to your entire life?

Not just you, but everyone.

And what if this lie was making you (and the rest of the world) feel miserable?

Would you want to know the truth?

Read the rest of this entry »

Why I’m Learning to Keep My Mouth Shut (and You Should Too!)

12

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 24-08-2016

Tags: , , , ,

Keep Your Mouth Shut![Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

You know the old saying “Mind your own business”? More and more I believe this is the key to a happy life. Heck, it probably should be the slogan for all of humanity!

While I don’t talk a whole lot and try to mind my own business, I can’t tell you how many times a day I say “Just keep your mouth shut”to myself!

It wasn’t always this way. Read the rest of this entry »

Are You Acting Like You’re Still in High School?

4

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Business, Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 01-08-2016

Tags: , , , ,

Still In High School[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I enjoy games as much as the next guy. Especially challenging and fun ones. For instance, this game of life we’re all playing. But some of the “games within the game” that I see all around me seem so unnecessary, and in many ways–hurtful.

Sometimes it even feels like I’m back in high school. Read the rest of this entry »

Why Do We Fight So Much?

13

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 28-06-2016

Tags: , , , ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Why Do We FightHave you ever noticed how so much of our day is spent being up in arms about something? (Usually lots of things.)

A friend or lover or stranger says or does something and immediately we jump to the conclusion that it was mean. Or hurtful. Or bad. Or rude. We spend hours, days and weeks (and sadly even years) ruminating on and discussing how awful certain people in our lives are. “How could do they do that?” “How could they say that?” “What is wrong with them?”

And when we’re not bashing those close to us, we branch out to those we don’t even know but just happen to see in the distance. They dress funny. They look funny. They smell funny. They laugh funny. They’re obviously not like us, so quite frankly, they must be just plain weird.

And let’s not forget those who have different political views. Or religious ones. Or a different skin color. Or tattoos. (They’re the worst! 😉 ) We want to keep them out of our lives and sometimes even out of our country.

When we really stop to think about it–and I encourage you to do so for yourself–much of our time here on Earth seems to involve conflict of one sort or another. Our minds always seem ready to spring into action at the tiniest of perceived injustices.

But why? Why do we fight so much? Read the rest of this entry »

An Unconditional Love Letter From My True Self to Yours

0

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 23-03-2016

Tags: , , ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Unconditional LoveLast summer someone close to me acted in a manner that based on my values and belief system, I deemed as wrong and unnecessary. For an entire evening as well as throughout the night, my thoughts about the situation were out of control. I woke up the next day and my head felt like it was about to explode. My understanding of how life works had me telling myself “It’s just thought,” but it did nothing to ease the pain I was in. While unsuccessfully trying to distract myself via my iPad, I received an email that was a summary of a talk called “Trusting Others and A Course in Miracles” given by Marianne Williamson. The topic of trust didn’t seem related to my situation, but I clicked over to read it anyway. Read the rest of this entry »

Should Others Have to Earn Our Trust?

2

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 24-02-2016

Tags: , , ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

To Trust or Not to TrustWhen I hear of people who no longer trust others because they were “burned before,” it makes me sad.

As I see it, there are two ways of looking at trust:

The first is to see people as untrustworthy until proven otherwise, and the second is the opposite–to see people as trustworthy until proven otherwise.

Only a one-word difference, but with huge implications. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Stop Suffering and Feeling Like Crap

12

Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spiritual Teachings, Thought | Posted on 05-02-2016

Tags: ,

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
Where We Control The World!
It’s becoming clearer to me that much of–if not all–our suffering is caused by our desire to control ourselves, our surroundings and others. Yet in reality, it’s impossible. Read the rest of this entry »