We’re All Different Yet We’re All the Same

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spiritual Teachings, Thought | Posted on 16-11-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Different But The Same

We are all different.

Very different. So different that no two of us has the same mixture of magic ingredients that make us who we are. While this is totally awesome as we’d be bored to tears if we were all alike, it’s also what creates ALL the conflict in the world. Unfortunately, most of us don’t realize how different we are and therefore can’t understand why or even that others’ don’t see the world the same way we do.

The average person has no concept of  separate realities.

Read the rest of this entry »

Are You Ready To Change the Way You See the World?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 05-10-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Change the Way You See the WorldWhat if I told you that you’ve been lied to your entire life?

Not just you, but everyone.

And what if this lie was making you (and the rest of the world) feel miserable?

Would you want to know the truth?

Read the rest of this entry »

People Are Jerks (But it’s Got Nothing to Do With You) (Even When it Does!)

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 20-09-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

People Are JerksLet’s face it, there are lots of jerky people out there. Many of them are part of our family. Some of them are our friends and colleagues. Heck, sometimes even we are the jerk!

But here’s the thing–when we are not the one being jerky, then it has nothing to do with us.

Regardless of what they are saying or doing.

Jerks are jerks, because they are jerks. Read the rest of this entry »

Why I’m Learning to Keep My Mouth Shut (and You Should Too!)

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 24-08-2016

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Keep Your Mouth Shut![Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

You know the old saying “Mind your own business”? More and more I believe this is the key to a happy life. Heck, it probably should be the slogan for all of humanity!

While I don’t talk a whole lot and try to mind my own business, I can’t tell you how many times a day I say “Just keep your mouth shut”to myself!

It wasn’t always this way. Read the rest of this entry »

Are You Acting Like You’re Still in High School?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Business, Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 01-08-2016

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Still In High School[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I enjoy games as much as the next guy. Especially challenging and fun ones. For instance, this game of life we’re all playing. But some of the “games within the game” that I see all around me seem so unnecessary, and in many ways–hurtful.

Sometimes it even feels like I’m back in high school. Read the rest of this entry »

Why Do We Fight So Much?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 28-06-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Why Do We FightHave you ever noticed how so much of our day is spent being up in arms about something? (Usually lots of things.)

A friend or lover or stranger says or does something and immediately we jump to the conclusion that it was mean. Or hurtful. Or bad. Or rude. We spend hours, days and weeks (and sadly even years) ruminating on and discussing how awful certain people in our lives are. “How could do they do that?” “How could they say that?” “What is wrong with them?”

And when we’re not bashing those close to us, we branch out to those we don’t even know but just happen to see in the distance. They dress funny. They look funny. They smell funny. They laugh funny. They’re obviously not like us, so quite frankly, they must be just plain weird.

And let’s not forget those who have different political views. Or religious ones. Or a different skin color. Or tattoos. (They’re the worst! 😉 ) We want to keep them out of our lives and sometimes even out of our country.

When we really stop to think about it–and I encourage you to do so for yourself–much of our time here on Earth seems to involve conflict of one sort or another. Our minds always seem ready to spring into action at the tiniest of perceived injustices.

But why? Why do we fight so much? Read the rest of this entry »

How to Have More Mental Wellbeing in Your Life

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 15-06-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
How to Have More Mental Wellbeing

I was recently at a seminar about mental wellbeing facilitated by Dr. Bill Pettit and his wife, Dr. Linda Pettit. They are a psychiatrist and psychologist with many decades of clinical experience. What makes them and this seminar interesting, however, was rather than focusing on the mental illnesses and diagnoses of what’s wrong, they are more interested in the opposite. That is, the innate wellbeing inside each of their patients. From the schizophrenic to the bipolar, to the average couple having marital problems, this pair of Docs (paradox!) are able to see right past all of that. They zero in on the natural mental health that resides deep within their patients (and all of us). Read the rest of this entry »

How to Transform Any Bad Situation

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 16-05-2016

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Warning…this post contains bad language!

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Will You Choose Fear or Love?Which would you prefer: feeling good or feeling bad?

I’m guessing most of you would say feeling good. And yet…

…so often when confronted with “negative” situations, we hold onto bad feelings a whole lot longer than necessary.

While we go through many emotions throughout our day, the negative ones can seem so “normal” that we don’t even notice them. However, I’ve found the more I make a point to observe my thoughts, the more aware I am of when they are in turmoil. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Break the Cycle of ‘Bad’ Relationships

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 21-04-2016

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Break The Bad Relationship Cycle!Unless we live alone in a cave with no access to the outside world, we’re always having some sort of relationship with others. These range from casual “smile at you in the street” relationships, to those we have with co-workers, close friends, family, partners, etc.  As adults, we develop a particular way of dealing with each of these types of relationships based on who we believe we are, as well who we perceive others to be. In other words, we deal with people based on beliefs and perceptions that we make up in our heads. Read the rest of this entry »

An Unconditional Love Letter From My True Self to Yours

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 23-03-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Unconditional LoveLast summer someone close to me acted in a manner that based on my values and belief system, I deemed as wrong and unnecessary. For an entire evening as well as throughout the night, my thoughts about the situation were out of control. I woke up the next day and my head felt like it was about to explode. My understanding of how life works had me telling myself “It’s just thought,” but it did nothing to ease the pain I was in. While unsuccessfully trying to distract myself via my iPad, I received an email that was a summary of a talk called “Trusting Others and A Course in Miracles” given by Marianne Williamson. The topic of trust didn’t seem related to my situation, but I clicked over to read it anyway. Read the rest of this entry »

Are You Keeping Score in Your Relationships?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 09-03-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Are You Keeping Score?For many, a natural consequence of life is to (unofficially) keep score in relationships. For instance, “I called him last time, so it’s his turn to call this time.” “He paid last time, so I’ll pay this time.” “I said “I love you, so now it’s her turn.” But when the score starts getting out of whack, people often freak out and may even start to think and feel like they’re being taken advantage of. Certainly if a relationship is sooooo one-sided in all respects it may be time to re-evaluate it. But in most relationships, this isn’t the case.

Much of the time the uneven score can be chalked up to a simple misunderstanding: Read the rest of this entry »

Should Others Have to Earn Our Trust?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 24-02-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

To Trust or Not to TrustWhen I hear of people who no longer trust others because they were “burned before,” it makes me sad.

As I see it, there are two ways of looking at trust:

The first is to see people as untrustworthy until proven otherwise, and the second is the opposite–to see people as trustworthy until proven otherwise.

Only a one-word difference, but with huge implications. Read the rest of this entry »

My Mentors and What I’ve Been Reading and Watching

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Miscellaneous, Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality | Posted on 13-01-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Some of you may have wondered where I come up with all the [crazy] [profound] [interesting] [spiritual] [odd] blog posts that I write. (Choose whichever word best describes how you feel about them!) They come from my own experiences as well as conversations I have with others. However, I also spend a lot of time watching, listening and reading various philosophies which impact what I write. Read the rest of this entry »

Have You Been Making Yourself Suffer?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 22-12-2015

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

ArguingI recently read a post in a Facebook group from a woman (let’s call her Jane) who was asking what people thought of the following:

Someone in her life (according to Jane): “Broke all her values, hurt her personally and deeply, made her cry and suffer and lose sleep for months.” Eventually Jane came to terms with the situation, but out of the blue the person invited her over for Christmas as if nothing had happened. She was confused and wondered what to do. Read the rest of this entry »

Relationship Rules: Whose Are Right?
A Tale of Two Players

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 21-11-2015

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Playing DIfferent Games

Image Credit: Jessica Lucia

Imagine you are someone who learned to play checkers from a very early age and it’s the only game you play. You know all the rules, follow them to a T and play it confidently and well. At some point in your life you meet a partner who has played chess all his life. He knows all the rules, follows them to a T and plays it confidently and well. One day you take out your board and say let’s play! You’re both familiar with the game board itself, but each have your own separate pieces and own set of rules for playing. Read the rest of this entry »

Life is a Game and You Have the Cheat Code

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 03-02-2015

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Life's a Game!If you knew life was just a game you could play any way you wanted, how would it change the way you live?

Many year’s ago, my husband and I were having a deep philosophical discussion about life. He remarked that perhaps life was sort of like a video game where you get to choose what level you want to play before you are born.

Want a go at an easy life? Choose the easiest level (let’s say level #1). Want something pretty easy but not so much as to be boring? Choose level #2. Think you got this life thing all figured out and want a super challenge? Choose level #10.

Whatever level you choose will be how things will play out in your life, just like in video games. Higher levels will throw more challenge and adversity your way, and it’s up to you to figure out how to navigate and manage it all. Read the rest of this entry »

Wipe Each Day’s Slate Clean of Judgment

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality | Posted on 29-04-2014

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Judgment!Inevitably when interacting with people, they will say or do things you may not like. Your feelings about the situation are essentially judgments about the people involved. Each judgement you make contributes to the way you think (and therefore feel) about them. For whatever reason, our ego minds have the need  to classify and categorize people; however, that doesn’t mean our classifications are true. They’re simply our thoughts about that person at that time. Read the rest of this entry »

Skiing after 25 years, Lamb Gyros, Grinding Peanuts and Freezing Avocados!

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Food, Healthy Eating, Things I've Learned | Posted on 03-03-2014

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Here’s what I learned last week:

Monday, Feb. 24, 2014

  • Skiing is kind of like riding a bike, it does come back to you. But, I wouldn’t start right out on a big hill when it’s been 25+ years since you last skied. (I’m glad I had the sense to realize that when I went today!)  Read the rest of this entry »