How to Go With The Flow and Live in The Zone

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Thought | Posted on 22-02-2017

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
Go With The Flow

Have you ever had a sense of “The Flow” when playing a sport or pursuing a creative endeavor?

While flow (or being in “The Zone”) has always been a part of my work and my writing, I became acutely aware of it when I took up tennis a couple of years ago. At first I was pretty clunky. I had to deliberately think about everything I was doing in order to have any chance of hitting the ball. But after awhile and with enough practice, I was able to get the ball over the net with some proficiency.

However…

The more I thought about what I was trying to do, the worse I got.

Read the rest of this entry »

What About Preferences?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Thought | Posted on 08-02-2017

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

In my last blog post, I pondered personal identity and what we think of as our true self. I wrote about how we’re not who we think we are, and that we can’t really define what or who our true self is–because there’s no such thing.

And then I went to Disney World.

Read the rest of this entry »

We Are Not Who (or What) We Think We Are

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 25-01-2017

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Not What We Think We AreI had a bit of an insight about our “true selves” last week which I’ll try to put into words here. I hope it makes some semblance of sense.

Here’s what I’ve seen…

As human beings, we are so wedded to our personality. Our individuality. Our identity. That part of us that seems to make us who we are. Our uniqueness. Our specialness.

Yet these aspects of us are also often our downfall. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Solve Problems and Make Decisions

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Thought | Posted on 11-01-2017

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Problem Solving[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

About a month ago a colleague was telling me about her business friend who picks up potential clients everywhere she goes. She seems to have perfected the art of meeting random people, telling them what she does for a living, and eventually signing them on as clients.

This peaked my curiosity as I’ve been struggling for what to say when people ask what I do. Often  I revert back to telling them about my old SEO career and how I’m now retired. Then I mumble something about what I’m up to these days. But overall, I haven’t felt very clear about it.

So I started thinking about what might be a good “elevator pitch” for the work I do now. As I pondered this a bit, it suddenly hit me: Read the rest of this entry »

How to Find Your Inner Peace

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Meditation, Psychology, Thought | Posted on 30-11-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

There is nothing better than the feeling of peace.

Inner PeaceWhich is why we spend every moment of every day attempting to find it. Peace is like a homing device that’s beckoning us to come closer. It’s a sense of calm neutrality. It’s true happiness. In his new book, Michael Neill calls it “The Space Within.” And in Dicken Bettinger and Natasha Swerdloff’s book, they call it “Coming Home.” Anita Moorjani might call it “Heaven on Earth.”

Regardless of what you call it, peace is the feeling we all strive for–whether we know it or not.

Read the rest of this entry »

We’re All Different Yet We’re All the Same

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spiritual Teachings, Thought | Posted on 16-11-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Different But The Same

We are all different.

Very different. So different that no two of us has the same mixture of magic ingredients that make us who we are. While this is totally awesome as we’d be bored to tears if we were all alike, it’s also what creates ALL the conflict in the world. Unfortunately, most of us don’t realize how different we are and therefore can’t understand why or even that others’ don’t see the world the same way we do.

The average person has no concept of  separate realities.

Read the rest of this entry »

Second Guessing, Jumping to Conclusions and Filling in the Blanks

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 02-11-2016

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…Or How we Create our Unique Personal Reality

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
Jumping to Conclusions and Filling in the Blanks

What would you do if you found out that everything you think about life, other people and even yourself is at best, a good guess?

As human beings, that’s exactly how we operate.

Ponder this…

Read the rest of this entry »

Why Do We Need to Mind Our Own Business in the First Place?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 19-10-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Why Do I Have to Keep My Mouth Shut?In a recent popular post I talked about how keeping our mouth shut when others seem to do or say things that bother us, can go a long way towards strengthening our relationships with them.

While this practice has been very helpful to me (when I remember) I can’t help but wonder…

Why am I’m bothered by them in the first place?

Read the rest of this entry »

Are You Ready To Change the Way You See the World?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 05-10-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Change the Way You See the WorldWhat if I told you that you’ve been lied to your entire life?

Not just you, but everyone.

And what if this lie was making you (and the rest of the world) feel miserable?

Would you want to know the truth?

Read the rest of this entry »

People Are Jerks (But it’s Got Nothing to Do With You) (Even When it Does!)

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 20-09-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

People Are JerksLet’s face it, there are lots of jerky people out there. Many of them are part of our family. Some of them are our friends and colleagues. Heck, sometimes even we are the jerk!

But here’s the thing–when we are not the one being jerky, then it has nothing to do with us.

Regardless of what they are saying or doing.

Jerks are jerks, because they are jerks. Read the rest of this entry »

15 Steps to Creating a Brand New You!

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Healthy Activities, Healthy Eating, Psychology, Thought | Posted on 06-09-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]Transformation Waiting to Happen!

As you may have guessed from the name of my blog (What Did You Do With Jill?) I have changed. A lot. At this point (over 3 years into my personal transformation) I barely remember the old me. Still, every now and then I will think or say something about myself that isn’t really true anymore. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Or do they? Read the rest of this entry »

Why I’m Learning to Keep My Mouth Shut (and You Should Too!)

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 24-08-2016

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Keep Your Mouth Shut![Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

You know the old saying “Mind your own business”? More and more I believe this is the key to a happy life. Heck, it probably should be the slogan for all of humanity!

While I don’t talk a whole lot and try to mind my own business, I can’t tell you how many times a day I say “Just keep your mouth shut”to myself!

It wasn’t always this way. Read the rest of this entry »

Are You Acting Like You’re Still in High School?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Business, Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 01-08-2016

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Still In High School[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I enjoy games as much as the next guy. Especially challenging and fun ones. For instance, this game of life we’re all playing. But some of the “games within the game” that I see all around me seem so unnecessary, and in many ways–hurtful.

Sometimes it even feels like I’m back in high school. Read the rest of this entry »

Do You Need More Lightheartedness in Your Life?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology | Posted on 27-07-2016

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Lighthearted Toad[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Recently, I was taken aback when I learned that many people view lightheartedness as a weakness. Or something they shouldn’t show to the world.

“We’re grown ups, right? We’ve got to be serious!”

Yet I can’t imagine any quality more important to embrace than lightheartedness. Read the rest of this entry »

Can’t Let Them Get Away With That!

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 12-07-2016

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Can't Let Them Get Away With That![Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Everyone makes mistakes. Some are big and some are small. But one way or another, we f*ck up. A lot. And we do it in a variety of ways.

Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

That means you. That means me. That means your spouse. That means your friends. That means the police. That means politicians. That means doctors, lawyers, butchers, bakers and candlestick makers. (Hate when my candlesticks get messed up! 🙂 ). Read the rest of this entry »

Why Do We Fight So Much?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 28-06-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Why Do We FightHave you ever noticed how so much of our day is spent being up in arms about something? (Usually lots of things.)

A friend or lover or stranger says or does something and immediately we jump to the conclusion that it was mean. Or hurtful. Or bad. Or rude. We spend hours, days and weeks (and sadly even years) ruminating on and discussing how awful certain people in our lives are. “How could do they do that?” “How could they say that?” “What is wrong with them?”

And when we’re not bashing those close to us, we branch out to those we don’t even know but just happen to see in the distance. They dress funny. They look funny. They smell funny. They laugh funny. They’re obviously not like us, so quite frankly, they must be just plain weird.

And let’s not forget those who have different political views. Or religious ones. Or a different skin color. Or tattoos. (They’re the worst! 😉 ) We want to keep them out of our lives and sometimes even out of our country.

When we really stop to think about it–and I encourage you to do so for yourself–much of our time here on Earth seems to involve conflict of one sort or another. Our minds always seem ready to spring into action at the tiniest of perceived injustices.

But why? Why do we fight so much? Read the rest of this entry »

Being Authentic: Why You Should Never Hide Behind a Fake You

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 01-06-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Are You Hiding Your True SelfWhy is it so hard for us to be our true authentic self?

My guess is fear.

It seems that our authenticity gets “beaten” out of us when we’re little. Between getting teased as kids for being our wacky selves and our parents berating us to “act like everyone else,” slowly but surely we start to create a public persona that’s considered socially acceptable. We believe if the rest of the world knew how crazy, weird, dumb, silly or whatever we are deep inside, that there’s no way in hell they could like us–let alone love us. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Transform Any Bad Situation

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 16-05-2016

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Warning…this post contains bad language!

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Will You Choose Fear or Love?Which would you prefer: feeling good or feeling bad?

I’m guessing most of you would say feeling good. And yet…

…so often when confronted with “negative” situations, we hold onto bad feelings a whole lot longer than necessary.

While we go through many emotions throughout our day, the negative ones can seem so “normal” that we don’t even notice them. However, I’ve found the more I make a point to observe my thoughts, the more aware I am of when they are in turmoil. Read the rest of this entry »

My 3 Year Anniversary of Taking Back My Life

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Healthy Activities, Healthy Eating, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 04-05-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Yay Me!This past Sunday (May 1, 2016) marked 3 years since I began my transformational journey. What started as a simple decision to lose weight, has culminated in a whole new me–both physically and mentally.

Here’s a recap: Read the rest of this entry »

How to Break the Cycle of ‘Bad’ Relationships

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 21-04-2016

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Break The Bad Relationship Cycle!Unless we live alone in a cave with no access to the outside world, we’re always having some sort of relationship with others. These range from casual “smile at you in the street” relationships, to those we have with co-workers, close friends, family, partners, etc.  As adults, we develop a particular way of dealing with each of these types of relationships based on who we believe we are, as well who we perceive others to be. In other words, we deal with people based on beliefs and perceptions that we make up in our heads. Read the rest of this entry »