Are You Keeping Score in Your Relationships?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 09-03-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Are You Keeping Score?For many, a natural consequence of life is to (unofficially) keep score in relationships. For instance, “I called him last time, so it’s his turn to call this time.” “He paid last time, so I’ll pay this time.” “I said “I love you, so now it’s her turn.” But when the score starts getting out of whack, people often freak out and may even start to think and feel like they’re being taken advantage of. Certainly if a relationship is sooooo one-sided in all respects it may be time to re-evaluate it. But in most relationships, this isn’t the case.

Much of the time the uneven score can be chalked up to a simple misunderstanding: Read the rest of this entry »

Labeling and Judging: Why Do We Label Others?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spirituality, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 26-01-2016

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Being JudgedNow that I’m often observing my thoughts, I’ve noticed some that surprise me.  For instance, I never thought of myself as judgmental, yet some of my thoughts tell me otherwise. Read the rest of this entry »

My Mentors and What I’ve Been Reading and Watching

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Miscellaneous, Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality | Posted on 13-01-2016

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Some of you may have wondered where I come up with all the [crazy] [profound] [interesting] [spiritual] [odd] blog posts that I write. (Choose whichever word best describes how you feel about them!) They come from my own experiences as well as conversations I have with others. However, I also spend a lot of time watching, listening and reading various philosophies which impact what I write. Read the rest of this entry »

Have You Been Making Yourself Suffer?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 22-12-2015

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

ArguingI recently read a post in a Facebook group from a woman (let’s call her Jane) who was asking what people thought of the following:

Someone in her life (according to Jane): “Broke all her values, hurt her personally and deeply, made her cry and suffer and lose sleep for months.” Eventually Jane came to terms with the situation, but out of the blue the person invited her over for Christmas as if nothing had happened. She was confused and wondered what to do. Read the rest of this entry »

Relationship Rules: Whose Are Right?
A Tale of Two Players

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 21-11-2015

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Playing DIfferent Games

Image Credit: Jessica Lucia

Imagine you are someone who learned to play checkers from a very early age and it’s the only game you play. You know all the rules, follow them to a T and play it confidently and well. At some point in your life you meet a partner who has played chess all his life. He knows all the rules, follows them to a T and plays it confidently and well. One day you take out your board and say let’s play! You’re both familiar with the game board itself, but each have your own separate pieces and own set of rules for playing. Read the rest of this entry »

Be a Leader Not a Follower: The Secret to Everything

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Business, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 05-11-2015

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Be The LeaderHave you looked at leaders in your space or community, and wondered how they got there?

There could be millions of different ways, but I am 100% certain that it wasn’t by being a follower.

It seems that in our world, there are followers and there are leaders. While there can be some cross-over, for the most part we are one or the other.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Read the rest of this entry »

Being the Observer of Your Thoughts

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 16-10-2015

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Observing Our LifeMost of us live our lives without ever noticing our thoughts. When we don’t know what’s going on in our heads, most of the time we act unconsciously. We allow our reactive habits and behaviors to take over, and become like robots going through our programmed ways of dealing with life.

Which is a recipe for disaster. Read the rest of this entry »

Changing From Shy to Outgoing

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Business, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 24-09-2015

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Can Shyness Be Changed?

Is it possible to change shyness?

This past May, while attending the Innate Wellbeing Retreat in the UK, I had an epiphany about shyness–my own and that of being shy, in general.

As I was watching how people interacted, I noticed a few different personality types: Read the rest of this entry »

Manifesting Your Desires Through Baby Steps

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Thought | Posted on 01-09-2015

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Manifesting Via Baby Steps!My motto lately is “Baby Steps.” Pretty sure it’s the key to everything!

Looking back at my life and accomplishments, it’s been a long series of baby steps. And it’s the same for you. How could it be any other way?

There is no other way to get from here to there. Read the rest of this entry »

Uncovering Our Innate Mental Health and Wellbeing

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Running, Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 26-08-2015

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I’ve been using the phrase “Uncovering Our Innate Mental Health and Wellbeing” a lot lately. I’m leading a local MeetUp Group using that name as well as a Facebook Group. The idea is to build a local community who are interested in uncovering their innate mental health. So far we’ve had a couple of in-person discussions, and have another one scheduled for September.

While we already have over 80 members, it occurred to me that some may not quite understand what “uncovering our innate mental health” means. I’m pretty sure those words wouldn’t have meant much to me a couple of years ago. The premise is that everyone–you, me, your neighbor, your spouse, your kids, murderers, cops, starving children in Africa–everyone, was born with a healthy mind. It’s our natural state. (That’s what the innate part means.) Nobody is born angry, depressed or anxious. In other words, we are all born happy. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Reach Your Goals Effortlessly

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Healthy Activities, Thought | Posted on 07-07-2015

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Last week I had been listening to Michael Neill’s Effortless Success program (mostly because I love listening to Michael’s voice!) when I took a little kayak break in our local reservoir. As I was paddling about in the water, I realized how effortlessly I was able to get from point A to B. Now I’m not talking about physical effort. I certainly had to keep paddling in order to move forward, but it didn’t take any thinking. I simply looked where I wanted to go, paddled away and arrived. This was true whether I was heading for somewhere straight ahead or a more out of the way destination. My arms just knew the right amount of give and take that I would need to get there. Read the rest of this entry »

Personal Transformation Takes Courage

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Healthy Activities, Healthy Eating, Spiritual Teachings, Thought | Posted on 01-07-2015

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Transformation Takes Courage!It’s been over 2 years since I embarked on my personal transformational journey. What started out as a simple decision to lose weight, has taken me on a magical mystery tour of mega proportions. I’m still amazed at how that one decision could lead to transformation in so many areas of my life. Read the rest of this entry »

3 Midlife Crisis Cliches Women Often Face

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Healthy Activities, Healthy Eating, Spirituality, Things I've Learned, Thought, Yoga | Posted on 11-06-2015

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Midlife Crisis?Okay. I admit it. I’m somewhere within the second half of my life. Does this mean my life transformation has been part of a “Midlife Crisis”? I shudder at the thought. No crisis here! But I can see how the deep inner desire for change I experienced could be unsettling for some.

It’s clear that women in their 50’s seem to have some innate desire for change.  Some do nothing (but complain) when those desires hit, others go hog wild and completely uproot their lives. Others, pursue their desires in a way that is positive and helpful. I like to think I’m in the latter group.

Midlife crises are often depicted in popular culture in a cliched manner. Career changes, leaving a spouse and taking up yoga seem to be some of the more popular cliches. Let’s examine these and see how valid they are.  Read the rest of this entry »

Living Life With Less Anxiety and Fear

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Things I've Learned, Thought | Posted on 03-06-2015

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Disclaimer: Anyone who’s followed me for any length of time knows I’d be the first to tell you that if you see a claim on a blog that says something like “be free from anxiety without doing anything!” you should leave that blog and never come back. Which is super ironic in that’s exactly what I’m about to tell you in this blog post. However, if you bear with me, I promise that what I’ve learned and seen work in my own life is not akin to some fake “overnight success” story where if you just send me all your money I’ll tell you the secret! Not in the least. First of all, I don’t want your money. Second of all, the “secret” if you will, is actually just common sense. But you know how common sense is–not common unless you actually know it. Sadly, most of us have grown up being taught the exact opposite of what I’m about to tell you.

Sooooo…if you haven’t been scared off yet and you trust me to deliver on the goods, then the worst that will happen is you’ll think I’m a quack and move on. The BEST is you’ll hear something that just might possibly change your life.

Intrigued? Then please continue… Read the rest of this entry »

What I Learned Leading My First Online Transformation Program

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Business, Things I've Learned | Posted on 03-03-2015

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What I LearnedLast week my first stab at leading a 7 week online transformation program came to an end. For me, it was nerve-wracking, exciting, scary, fun, interesting, a great learning experience, and a whole lot more, all wrapped into one!

How it was for the participants, I’m not entirely sure. So far I’ve had feedback from a few  who found it helpful (one of whom has already signed up for my next program). I also got constructive criticism from a couple of people, which was helpful and with which I wholeheartedly agree. Read the rest of this entry »

Life is a Game and You Have the Cheat Code

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spiritual Teachings, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 03-02-2015

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Life's a Game!If you knew life was just a game you could play any way you wanted, how would it change the way you live?

Many year’s ago, my husband and I were having a deep philosophical discussion about life. He remarked that perhaps life was sort of like a video game where you get to choose what level you want to play before you are born.

Want a go at an easy life? Choose the easiest level (let’s say level #1). Want something pretty easy but not so much as to be boring? Choose level #2. Think you got this life thing all figured out and want a super challenge? Choose level #10.

Whatever level you choose will be how things will play out in your life, just like in video games. Higher levels will throw more challenge and adversity your way, and it’s up to you to figure out how to navigate and manage it all. Read the rest of this entry »

Transformation and Procrastination

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 15-01-2015

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Sometimes Waiting is OkayThere are so many things that we think about ourselves at any given time in our lives. Much of it is a matter of conditioning and how we grew up. Some if it, especially what we think of as personality traits, seem to be innate and what we’re born with. What’s interesting, however, is that we’re not stuck with any of it–regardless of how long we believe we’ve “been that way.”

Let’s take procrastination, for example. Read the rest of this entry »

Making Decisions: The Key To Getting Sh*t Done

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Healthy Eating, Thought | Posted on 28-11-2014

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just-decideWhen I was recently at the 3PGC Three Principles Conference, at one point I was chatting with a few new friends over a glass of wine. I happened to mention that I had lost 25 lbs. about a year ago and was asked how I did it. My response was “I just decided to.” I had intended to go into the logistics, i.e., counting calories, doing more exercise, etc., but the waitress had interrupted, and the conversation took a new turn. Later in the evening my friend told me that she loved my answer on how I lost weight.

That’s when I realized–all I really did was make a Decision. Read the rest of this entry »

Understanding My Addictive Personality

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spiritual Teachings, Thought | Posted on 02-10-2014

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drinking-alcoholYesterday while pondering the many forms addiction can take, I suddenly had a “life flashing before my eyes” moment. (Apparently you can have them even when you’re not about to die!) All at once I saw clearly how so many things I’ve done in the past were attempts to seek happiness outside of myself. I realized that my “outside in” way of thinking caused a whole lot of addictive behavior on my part.

Let me back up for a moment, and explain. Read the rest of this entry »

Changing How We Relate To Others

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 03-09-2014

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Change Your Thoughts--Change Your Relationships!

Change Your Thoughts–Change Your Relationships!

Have you ever thought someone was mad at you only to find out they were just worried about something completely unrelated to you?

I remember an experience like that one day many moons ago when I was in college. The hypochondriac in me was worried about some non-existent health issue, and therefore I was being more quiet and introspective than usual. That night as I lay in bed before going to sleep, all of a sudden my roommate burst out, “I’m sorry!” Confused, I asked her what she was sorry for. She answered, “I don’t know, but whatever it is that you’re mad at me for!”

Most people can probably relate to this scenario. When we think that someone is mad at us, we come up with all sorts of things we must have done to piss them off. After all, why would they be so mad if we didn’t do anything wrong. During those times, it all feels so real. My roommate absolutely knew for certain in her head that I was mad at her, and it didn’t feel good. She went through all the feelings she would normally go through if I was in fact mad at her.

In other words, we create entire stories in our heads. Read the rest of this entry »