Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 03-22-2017
Tags: 3 Principles, Anxiety, Flow, Surrender, Wellbeing
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
I once wrote a blog post on the topic of surrendering and letting go and how that was the secret to end suffering.
But you asked, “How do I do it? How do I let go?”
My answer was always something along the lines of: How do you let go when falling asleep at night? And how do you let go when you don’t like the weather?
Even with these metaphors, surrendering or letting go still sounds like there’s something to do.
Recently, however, a colleague of mine said he’s been using the phrase “let it be” rather than “let go.”
I like it!
With letting it be there is no “how.”
Not only that, it’s the answer to every disturbing situation.
Stuck in traffic and will be late for work? Let it be.
Spouse won’t stop nagging you? Let it be.
Friend is mad at you? Let it be.
Someone you love leaves you (or dies)? Let it be.
You wish you could win the lottery? Let it be.
You’d rather be somewhere else? Let it be.
Because what else can you really do?
What other choice do you have?
Make no mistake about it, letting it be does not mean “do nothing.”
If there is something to do, you can (and should) do it, while still letting it be. For instance, if you’re stuck in traffic and you have your cell phone, then of course you may want to call someone to let them know you’re going to be late.
And if you wish you could win the lottery, of course you have to buy a ticket.
Other situations may be more complicated. But if your first line of defense is to let it be, then the most appropriate thing to do will come to you. (Not that it can’t come to you if you don’t let it be.) But I can guarantee you’ll have a better chance of success–if at first you let it be.
Letting it be removes resistance.
And resistance is simply a form of unhappiness with what is.
Wanting things to be different than they are.
Otherwise known as resistant thoughts.
Thoughts that say…
“It shouldn’t be this way!”
“It’s not my fault!”
“How could they do this to me?”
While you can’t stop resistant thoughts from coming into your head, the more you see them for what they are, the more you can simply let them be.
When you let it be, happiness–your natural innate state of being–will return.
Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that if someone in your life dies or leaves you, for instance, that you shouldn’t feel bad or you shouldn’t grieve. Of course you should and you will. You are, after all, human. And all that is part of our experience of life. But after some time, when someone you love or loved is out of your life, it doesn’t do you any good to continue to grieve for what was, what could have been, or the imagined future you may have had.
Living in the past by resisting what IS will always take you away from feeling good.
When life circumstances change, your only choice (if you want to be happy) is to go with the flow and let it be. It’s fine (and lovely) to remember the experiences and people you love. It’s also fine (and necessary) to move on and create new experiences.
In this moment, all is well.
So what do you think?
Can you do the not-doing and just let this moment be as it is right now?
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