[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
Bad Thoughts Equal Bad Feelings
A few months ago I finally grasped a concept that I had been grappling with for quite some time:
Thoughts create feelings not the other way around. The difference between generally happy people, and generally sad (or mad, or whatever) people is their ability understand that simple concept. Read the rest of this entry »
What I Learned the Week of Feb. 10 – 16, 2014
Monday, Feb. 10, 2014
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 08-12-2015
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
Ever notice how the way we feel about pretty much anything depends on what else is going on?
Me “touching” the Louvre Pyramid
Whether it’s the mood we happen to be in, or the time of day, or whatever might be on our plate at the moment–we react differently to the same exact news. Read the rest of this entry »
Getting Caught Up In Thought
Recently, a friend who has a small consulting firm called me for some advice about a business situation. He told me of a client who had signed off on a proposal and was ready to move forward with his services. Wanting to get a good feel for exactly what would be needed to get started, my friend began to review what the company was currently doing. After analyzing their situation, he suggested to the client that rather than trying to fix a certain aspect of their business, it would be best for them to start over from scratch. He let them know that from his analysis, their current model wasn’t working well and was losing them money. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Spiritual Teachings, Thought | Posted on 02-10-2014
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
Yesterday while pondering the many forms addiction can take, I suddenly had a “life flashing before my eyes” moment. (Apparently you can have them even when you’re not about to die!) All at once I saw clearly how so many things I’ve done in the past were attempts to seek happiness outside of myself. I realized that my “outside in” way of thinking caused a whole lot of addictive behavior on my part.
Let me back up for a moment, and explain. Read the rest of this entry »
Helping Each Other
A friend of mine was in town recently and told me how she and her brother have been estranged for many years, however, she wanted to try to reunite with him. So she made some kind gestures to him, but he seemed to rebuff them. While she felt hurt by that, she continued to want to try to reunite, as she knew it was one of her father’s last wishes.
When she first told me this story, I had been familiarizing myself with a new understanding of how life works. That is, from the inside out, rather than the outside in. She seemed receptive to hearing my opinion, so I shared with her my understanding as it applied to her situation as best I could. I wasn’t totally confident in my explanations, but what I was saying seemed to make sense and she was definitely grasping it as it applied to her. Read the rest of this entry »
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
When I graduated college way back in the olden days of 1983, I landed a job with Prime Computer in their Business Practices department. My main job was performing simple word processing (typing documents into the computer) of the internal company handbooks which were created by others in our department. Once a particular handbook’s information was in the computer, it was also my job to bring it to our Reprographics department who would reformat, print and bind it into the spiffy looking handbooks that they eventually became. The Reprographics department was located in the basement which seemed to be deep in the bowels of the building itself. I had to take a special elevator to get down there, and it was kind of dark and dirty and even a little bit scary to my 22 year old self. While the people who worked there were nice enough, our department was beholden to them to get our handbooks printed properly and in a timely manner. This always gave me the feeling that they had something over us. There was a sense that if we didn’t maintain a good relationship with them, they could easily screw us over.
During this time, the movie “Ghostbusters” came out and became an instant hit. And with that, my colleagues would tease me every time I had to “go down to Repro” that I had been “slimed” like the characters in the movie! At one point, they even bought me a mug that said “I’ve Been Slimed” which I still have:
Read the rest of this entry »
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
You Are Not Who You Think!
Most of us carry around a certain image of ourselves. I certainly did and still do, but I didn’t realize until recently how malleable that image can be. Read the rest of this entry »
Inevitably when interacting with people, they will say or do things you may not like. Your feelings about the situation are essentially judgments about the people involved. Each judgement you make contributes to the way you think (and therefore feel) about them. For whatever reason, our ego minds have the need to classify and categorize people; however, that doesn’t mean our classifications are true. They’re simply our thoughts about that person at that time. Read the rest of this entry »
What I Learned Last Week:
Monday, Feb. 17, 2014
- It’s amazing to see how our body’s default is to heal. I’ve been watching the daily healing of my cut thumb with awe. (Wish I had been taking daily pics.)
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 28-11-2018
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
If you browse through this 
blog or watch my YouTube videos, you may notice that a lot of what I talk about is often (usually?) the opposite of what you see elsewhere. In fact, my teachings often go against societal norms and the “self-help” industry all together.
For instance, I’ve written about how, when other people are mad at us, it is not an attack on us. Even if they’re physically and verbally demonstrating it to us.
But how can that be?
We are conditioned to believe that everything must be about us in some way.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Thought | Posted on 11-07-2018
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. This post also has a corresponding video here.]
This week I want to share with you some recent insights I had about a way in which we innocently create our own moment-to-moment suffering in life.
During our typical day, we naturally go through lots of emotions such as anger, anxiety and sadness. None of which are a problem in and of themselves. They become a problem, however, when the secondary thoughts and feelings we have about these emotions, take hold. Read the rest of this entry »
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. There’s also a corresponding video.]
If you’ve read any of my blog posts, you know I write about how it’s our thoughts that create our entire experience of life. In other words, as much as it appears that other people and situations cause us to feel how we feel–they don’t. The way we feel in any given moment is always and only a factor of whatever thoughts happen to pop in our heads at that time.
You don’t have to believe me, but…
This is the “One Truth” of how the world works.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 23-05-2018
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
Once upon a time there was a world called, “Inside-Out Land.” There, it was impossible for anyone to upset a fellow “Inside-Outer.” It wasn’t that they couldn’t become upset–they could. It was that their society as a whole understood where their feelings came from.
They knew when they were upset (or happy, or scared or sad), it was always and only because their thoughts naturally created those feelings within them. Just as they were designed to do.
Because of this knowledge, they lived in relative peace.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 11-04-2018
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. There’s also a related video.]
Nobody likes being angry.
It feels pretty crappy.
The more angry we feel inside, the more we want to do something about it. Sometimes an angry outburst is enough to rid the body of our crappy feelings. Often, however, we say or do such horrible things during our outburst that we feel worse.
So we try and manage our anger.
Read the rest of this entry »
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
I lived half a century before I learned how life really works!
Even though it took so long, I’m very grateful I eventually learned it. Sadly, most people never do.
You see, we are brought up believing the world works one way, when it actually works another. It isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s simply a misunderstanding perpetuated by our society and culture. A very convincing misunderstanding, for sure. But a misunderstanding, nevertheless.
However…
When we learn how things really work, it can transform our lives in amazing ways!
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 31-01-2018
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. See also the corresponding video on this topic.]
A couple of months ago I wrote a blog post on how we attack ourselves and then blame others. Lately, I’ve noticed that blame is even more insidious in our everyday lives than I first realized.
For example, let’s say someone misses a meeting. One would think they could only have themselves to blame. Yet suddenly it’s the meeting host’s fault for not sending out a reminder. Or perhaps someone asks another person to help them with something. Yet when it doesn’t come out quite right, it’s somehow the helper’s fault!
We see this sort of blaming every day…usually related to the insecurities of the blamer. Our fragile little egos hate to admit fault, especially when there’s an easy target at whom we can point our finger. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 29-11-2017
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. See also the corresponding video on this topic.]
I was gifted with a HUGE insight recently. I saw how what I perceived as a verbal attack on me was not what I thought it was. With this realization, it was crystal clear where my bad/mad/scared feelings came from.
I felt attacked based on my own deep-seated unconscious beliefs that I was not good enough. Beliefs, I daresay, that I didn’t even know I had!
In other words, my feelings were 100% created from my own insecure thoughts–not what was said to me.
Read the rest of this entry »
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
Have you ever noticed how certain people are always up in arms about something?
Whether it’s a situation at work, home or in our social circles, we can easily find a reason to feel put upon. As soon as one problem is cleared up, there’s always another around the corner. Plus there are plenty of horrible happenings in the news to feel bad about just in case we can’t find anything to complain about locally!
No doubt, there are a zillion things we can be up in arms over. But why would we want to? It seems kinda dumb to me. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 30-08-2017
[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]
I’ve seen so many articles that tell us we should push past our fears and/or try to control them. While that’s satisfactory short-term advice, it’s not a long-term solution.
It’s simply not possible to control fear.
Fear always comes from thought in the moment. And thoughts are not under our control. Read the rest of this entry »
