What Did You Do With Jill?Jill Whalen's healthy lifestyle transformation                                               

There is no such thing as “The Capitalist” Or “The Progressives,” or “The Liberals,” or “The Muslims,” or “The Jews,” or “The Homeless,” or “The Non-Dualists,” or “The 3 Principles Community,” or “The Republicans,” or “The Democrats,” or “The Rich,” or “The Poor,” or “The Atheists,” or “The Anti-Vaxxers” or “The Trumpists.” Or any other label we can dream up or imagine.

There are only images in our mind of what those labels mean.

We need labels in order to make sense of, and communicate within this world. However, they also create separation and divisiveness. We love those we feel part of, and hate those that seem in opposition. Yet if we take one individual from any group, it’s guaranteed they will have differing opinions from other members of the group. Which is also why there is often divisiveness within the groups themselves.

All Labels Are Stereotypes.

They are convenient shortcuts to help us be concise in our language. However, those shortcuts come with a price. When we use labels in everyday conversation, it suggests that there is some sort of solid entity that has a very specific set of beliefs, and dogma. The label itself, makes it “a thing” in and of itself. And yet, the “thing” doesn’t exist beyond our very own (unique) idea of what it means to be “that thing.”

What’s Really Happening?

Unfortunately, the vocal minority of most groups, is where we get our stereotypes. Or worse, the ones that say the most provocative things. They are often the most extreme members of those groups. Yet when those extreme views clash with ours, our categorizing brain likes to attribute them to the entire group.

For instance, some may think of Capitalists as “those people who want others to be poor because they are selfish and want all the money for themselves.”

Or some might think of Muslims as “those people who blow up buildings.”

Or perhaps some think of Liberals as “those people who want everything to be free in life, without realizing that the money has to come from somewhere.” And while there may be some members that have those beliefs and intentions, those views never describe the group as a whole.

Most groups are made up of well-intentioned people who want the best for the world and themselves.

So What Can We Do to Fix This Misunderstanding?

First, it’s very important to open up our own minds even just a tiny bit to consider what I’ve said above. That what we think of as a group, might in reality be the vocal minority within that group. If/when we do that, it can loosen up the image we have in our mind of that group.

Next, if we want to have a discussion about current events, or politics, or religion, or whatever else, rather than calling out an entire group of people as being bad, or wrong based on the words and deeds of a some, simply call out those specific people. In other words, if we don’t like people who blow up buildings (and who really does?) then talk about them specifically, rather than as a group.

For instance, there’s nothing wrong in saying “Those people who blow up buildings, shouldn’t be allowed in our country.” Why do we need to label them as part of a larger group where the majority wants nothing to do with such acts of violence?

And if we don’t like the idea of there being selfish people who want others to be poor so they can have all the money for themselves (and again…who really does?) then use that whole phrase, rather than a shortcut label. While it’s easier to substitute the one word “Capitalist,” it only describes some individuals within the larger group of Capitalists.

And if we don’t like the idea of people wanting to live off handouts without working for a living while we have to earn our money, then say that. There’s no need to place all Liberals under that umbrella.

In summary…

All groups are made up of unique individuals who have many varied points of view. Some we may agree with, others we may not. If we were to speak one-on-one with any individual member, I am certain we would find many areas of agreement and overlap of views. We would also realize that no group in and of itself is “all bad.”

It’s all in how we imagine them to be.

I welcome your thoughts.

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

If you browse through this blog or watch my YouTube videos, you may notice that a lot of what I talk about is often (usually?) the opposite of what you see elsewhere. In fact, my teachings often go against societal norms and the “self-help” industry all together.

For instance, I’ve written about how, when other people are mad at us, it is not an attack on us. Even if they’re physically and verbally demonstrating it to us.

But how can that be?

We are conditioned to believe that everything must be about us in some way.

Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. There’s also a “Victim of Thought Show which is on this subject which you can view here or at the end of this post.]

We all know and use the phrase, “Let’s agree to disagree.”

It gets pulled out when we’re getting nowhere in an argument or discussion. From our point of view, the other person is simply not listening well, or isn’t very intelligent, or just doesn’t get the facts of the situation. Because obviously if they did, they would agree with us! So rather than cause a scene or escalate the situation, we agree to disagree.

Or at least we say we do.

But inside, we know we are right!

Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. There’s also a corresponding video.]

If you’ve read any of my blog posts, you know I write about how it’s our thoughts that create our entire experience of life. In other words, as much as it appears that other people and situations cause us to feel how we feel–they don’t. The way we feel in any given moment is always and only a factor of whatever thoughts happen to pop in our heads at that time.

You don’t have to believe me, but…

This is the “One Truth” of how the world works.

Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

In my last blog post, I pondered personal identity and what we think of as our true self. I wrote about how we’re not who we think we are, and that we can’t really define what or who our true self is–because there’s no such thing.

And then I went to Disney World.

Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

We are all different.

Very different. So different that no two of us has the same mixture of magic ingredients that make us who we are. While this is totally awesome as we’d be bored to tears if we were all alike, it’s also what creates ALL the conflict in the world. Unfortunately, most of us don’t realize how different we are and therefore can’t understand why or even that others’ don’t see the world the same way we do.

The average person has no concept of separate realities.

Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

For many, a natural consequence of life is to (unofficially) keep score in relationships. For instance, “I called him last time, so it’s his turn to call this time.” “He paid last time, so I’ll pay this time.” “I said “I love you, so now it’s her turn.” But when the score starts getting out of whack, people often freak out and may even start to think and feel like they’re being taken advantage of. Certainly if a relationship is sooooo one-sided in all respects it may be time to re-evaluate it. But in most relationships, this isn’t the case.

Much of the time the uneven score can be chalked up to a simple misunderstanding: Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Ever notice how the way we feel about pretty much anything depends on what else is going on?

Whether it’s the mood we happen to be in, or the time of day, or whatever might be on our plate at the moment–we react differently to the same exact news. Read the rest of this entry »

To go along with my upcoming personal and business transformation program, I decided to do a video that touches on one of the subjects I’ll be covering: Creating Your Own Reality Via Thought.

Creating reality seems to be a difficult subject for many to grasp, so I hope this video can start to clear things up about it.

Let me know what you think by leaving your thoughts below! -Jill