What Did You Do With Jill?Jill Whalen's healthy lifestyle transformation                                               

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. There’s also a “Victim of Thought Show which is on this subject which you can view here or at the end of this post.]

We all know and use the phrase, “Let’s agree to disagree.”

It gets pulled out when we’re getting nowhere in an argument or discussion. From our point of view, the other person is simply not listening well, or isn’t very intelligent, or just doesn’t get the facts of the situation. Because obviously if they did, they would agree with us! So rather than cause a scene or escalate the situation, we agree to disagree.

Or at least we say we do.

But inside, we know we are right!

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I lived half a century before I learned how life really works!

Even though it took so long, I’m very grateful I eventually learned it. Sadly, most people never do.

You see, we are brought up believing the world works one way, when it actually works another. It isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s simply a misunderstanding perpetuated by our society and culture. A very convincing misunderstanding, for sure. But a misunderstanding, nevertheless.

However…

When we learn how things really work, it can transform our lives in amazing ways!

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. There’s also a corresponding video to this post.]

We all have our stories. Lots of them. But most of the time we have no idea that they’re stories. We think they are who we are, so they become our identity. But what we often don’t realize, is that identity itself is just a belief system. And beliefs are simply a whole bunch of thoughts we keep on thinking. (Until we don’t.)

I’ve certainly had my stories over the years, and like everyone, I still do. I just don’t hold onto them as tightly as I used to.

Here’s the Cliff Notes version of my old story:

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I’ve seen a lot of articles and comments about personal transformation that focus on how much time and effort it takes. They promise that with the right tools, techniques and lots of perseverance, transformation can eventually be yours.

Maybe.

But I see it differently.

Transformation happens via insight–not hard work.

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

It’s been nearly four years since I announced to the industry I loved for 17 years (Search Engine Optimization aka SEO), that I was moving on.

In my parting message, the piece that stands out to me now is this:

“SEO was never about the money for me. It was my passion and something that I absolutely had to do. And because of that, the money came. I believe the same thing can be true for anyone who finds their passion and uses it to help others.”

Which is exactly what I’ve been doing these past 4 years.

I’ve found a new passion and am using it to help others.

Here’s the coolest part… Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Did you know that you have two minds?

If you’re like I was most of my life, you may not be in tune with what’s going on in your head at any given moment. So you may not be aware of your mind’s seemingly split personality. However, if you pay attention, it doesn’t take long to see our two minds in action.

There’s our “ego mind” and our “wisdom mind.”

Our ego mind is filled with fear and is mostly wrong about everything, yet it loudly and proudly proclaims its rightness.

Meanwhile, our wisdom mind is filled with love and sits quietly in the background knowing the real truth, and having the right answers.

In some ways, our split mind is like the proverbial angel and devil on our shoulders.

Here’s the problem…

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

“My thoughts are real.

They feel solid and trustworthy and true.

My beliefs are correct.

If only everyone else could see things the way I do, they would agree.

It’s so obvious.

Why can’t they see it?

How can they believe what they believe when it’s so blatantly wrong?”

Welcome to the inside of my head.

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Have you ever had a sense of “The Flow” when playing a sport or pursuing a creative endeavor?

While flow (or being in “The Zone”) has always been a part of my work and my writing, I became acutely aware of it when I took up tennis a couple of years ago. At first I was pretty clunky. I had to deliberately think about everything I was doing in order to have any chance of hitting the ball. But after awhile and with enough practice, I was able to get the ball over the net with some proficiency.

However…

The more I thought about what I was trying to do, the worse I got.

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

In my last blog post, I pondered personal identity and what we think of as our true self. I wrote about how we’re not who we think we are, and that we can’t really define what or who our true self is–because there’s no such thing.

And then I went to Disney World.

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I had a bit of an insight about our “true selves” last week which I’ll try to put into words here. I hope it makes some semblance of sense.

Here’s what I’ve seen…

As human beings, we are so wedded to our personality. Our individuality. Our identity. That part of us that seems to make us who we are. Our uniqueness. Our specialness.

Yet these aspects of us are also often our downfall. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

About a month ago a colleague was telling me about her business friend who picks up potential clients everywhere she goes. She seems to have perfected the art of meeting random people, telling them what she does for a living, and eventually signing them on as clients.

This peaked my curiosity as I’ve been struggling for what to say when people ask what I do. Often  I revert back to telling them about my old SEO career and how I’m now retired. Then I mumble something about what I’m up to these days. But overall, I haven’t felt very clear about it.

So I started thinking about what might be a good “elevator pitch” for the work I do now. As I pondered this a bit, it suddenly hit me: Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. There is also a video to go along with this topic.]

There is nothing better than the feeling of peace.

Which is why we spend every moment of every day attempting to find it. Peace is like a homing device that’s beckoning us to come closer. It’s a sense of calm neutrality. It’s true happiness. In his new book, Michael Neill calls it “The Space Within.” And in Dicken Bettinger and Natasha Swerdloff’s book, they call it “Coming Home.” Anita Moorjani might call it “Heaven on Earth.”

Regardless of what you call it, peace is the feeling we all strive for–whether we know it or not.

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

We are all different.

Very different. So different that no two of us has the same mixture of magic ingredients that make us who we are. While this is totally awesome as we’d be bored to tears if we were all alike, it’s also what creates ALL the conflict in the world. Unfortunately, most of us don’t realize how different we are and therefore can’t understand why or even that others’ don’t see the world the same way we do.

The average person has no concept of separate realities.

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…Or How we Create our Unique Personal Reality

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

What would you do if you found out that everything you think about life, other people and even yourself is at best, a good guess?

As human beings, that’s exactly how we operate.

Ponder this…

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

In a recent popular post I talked about how keeping our mouth shut when others seem to do or say things that bother us, can go a long way towards strengthening our relationships with them.

While this practice has been very helpful to me (when I remember) I can’t help but wonder…

Why am I’m bothered by them in the first place?

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

What if I told you that you’ve been lied to your entire life?

Not just you, but everyone.

And what if this lie was making you (and the rest of the world) feel miserable?

Would you want to know the truth?

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[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Let’s face it, there are lots of jerky people out there. Many of them are part of our family. Some of them are our friends and colleagues. Heck, sometimes even we are the jerk!

But here’s the thing–when we are not the one being jerky, then it has nothing to do with us.

Regardless of what they are saying or doing.

Jerks are jerks, because they are jerks. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

As you may have guessed from the name of my blog (What Did You Do With Jill?) I have changed. A lot. At this point (over 3 years into my personal transformation) I barely remember the old me. Still, every now and then I will think or say something about myself that isn’t really true anymore. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Or do they? Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

You know the old saying “Mind your own business”? More and more I believe this is the key to a happy life. Heck, it probably should be the slogan for all of humanity!

While I don’t talk a whole lot and try to mind my own business, I can’t tell you how many times a day I say “Just keep your mouth shut”…to myself!

It wasn’t always this way. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I enjoy games as much as the next guy. Especially challenging and fun ones. For instance, this game of life we’re all playing. But some of the “games within the game” that I see all around me seem so unnecessary, and in many ways–hurtful.

Sometimes it even feels like I’m back in high school. Read the rest of this entry »