Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology | Posted on 27-07-2016
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Recently, I was taken aback when I learned that many people view lightheartedness as a weakness. Or something they shouldn’t show to the world.
“We’re grown ups, right? We’ve got to be serious!”
Yet I can’t imagine any quality more important to embrace than lightheartedness. Read the rest of this entry »
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Everyone makes mistakes. Some are big and some are small. But one way or another, we f*ck up. A lot. And we do it in a variety of ways.
Every. Single. One. Of. Us.
That means you. That means me. That means your spouse. That means your friends. That means the police. That means politicians. That means doctors, lawyers, butchers, bakers and candlestick makers. (Hate when my candlesticks get messed up! 🙂 ). Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Thought | Posted on 28-06-2016
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Have you ever noticed how so much of our day is spent being up in arms about something? (Usually lots of things.)
A friend or lover or stranger says or does something and immediately we jump to the conclusion that it was mean. Or hurtful. Or bad. Or rude. We spend hours, days and weeks (and sadly even years) ruminating on and discussing how awful certain people in our lives are. “How could do they do that?” “How could they say that?” “What is wrong with them?”
And when we’re not bashing those close to us, we branch out to those we don’t even know but just happen to see in the distance. They dress funny. They look funny. They smell funny. They laugh funny. They’re obviously not like us, so quite frankly, they must be just plain weird.
And let’s not forget those who have different political views. Or religious ones. Or a different skin color. Or tattoos. (They’re the worst! 😉 ) We want to keep them out of our lives and sometimes even out of our country.
When we really stop to think about it–and I encourage you to do so for yourself–much of our time here on Earth seems to involve conflict of one sort or another. Our minds always seem ready to spring into action at the tiniest of perceived injustices.
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 01-06-2016
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Why is it so hard for us to be our true authentic self?
My guess is fear.
It seems that our authenticity gets “beaten” out of us when we’re little. Between getting teased as kids for being our wacky selves and our parents berating us to “act like everyone else,” slowly but surely we start to create a public persona that’s considered socially acceptable. We believe if the rest of the world knew how crazy, weird, dumb, silly or whatever we are deep inside, that there’s no way in hell they could like us–let alone love us. Read the rest of this entry »
Warning…this post contains bad language!
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Which would you prefer: feeling good or feeling bad?
I’m guessing most of you would say feeling good. And yet…
…so often when confronted with “negative” situations, we hold onto bad feelings a whole lot longer than necessary.
While we go through many emotions throughout our day, the negative ones can seem so “normal” that we don’t even notice them. However, I’ve found the more I make a point to observe my thoughts, the more aware I am of when they are in turmoil. Read the rest of this entry »
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This past Sunday (May 1, 2016) marked 3 years since I began my transformational journey. What started as a simple decision to lose weight, has culminated in a whole new me–both physically and mentally.
Here’s a recap: Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 21-04-2016
Unless we live alone in a cave with no access to the outside world, we’re always having some sort of relationship with others. These range from casual “smile at you in the street” relationships, to those we have with co-workers, close friends, family, partners, etc. As adults, we develop a particular way of dealing with each of these types of relationships based on who we believe we are, as well who we perceive others to be. In other words, we deal with people based on beliefs and perceptions that we make up in our heads. Read the rest of this entry »
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For many, a natural consequence of life is to (unofficially) keep score in relationships. For instance, “I called him last time, so it’s his turn to call this time.” “He paid last time, so I’ll pay this time.” “I said “I love you, so now it’s her turn.” But when the score starts getting out of whack, people often freak out and may even start to think and feel like they’re being taken advantage of. Certainly if a relationship is sooooo one-sided in all respects it may be time to re-evaluate it. But in most relationships, this isn’t the case.
Much of the time the uneven score can be chalked up to a simple misunderstanding: Read the rest of this entry »
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Now that I’m often observing my thoughts, I’ve noticed some that surprise me. For instance, I never thought of myself as judgmental, yet some of my thoughts tell me otherwise. Read the rest of this entry »
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Some of you may have wondered where I come up with all the [crazy] [profound] [interesting] [spiritual] [odd] blog posts that I write. (Choose whichever word best describes how you feel about them!) They come from my own experiences as well as conversations I have with others. However, I also spend a lot of time watching, listening and reading various philosophies which impact what I write. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Relationships, Thought | Posted on 22-12-2015
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I recently read a post in a Facebook group from a woman (let’s call her Jane) who was asking what people thought of the following:
Someone in her life (according to Jane): “Broke all her values, hurt her personally and deeply, made her cry and suffer and lose sleep for months.” Eventually Jane came to terms with the situation, but out of the blue the person invited her over for Christmas as if nothing had happened. She was confused and wondered what to do. Read the rest of this entry »
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Image Credit: Jessica Lucia
Imagine you are someone who learned to play checkers from a very early age and it’s the only game you play. You know all the rules, follow them to a T and play it confidently and well. At some point in your life you meet a partner who has played chess all his life. He knows all the rules, follows them to a T and plays it confidently and well. One day you take out your board and say let’s play! You’re both familiar with the game board itself, but each have your own separate pieces and own set of rules for playing. Read the rest of this entry »
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Have you looked at leaders in your space or community, and wondered how they got there?
There could be millions of different ways, but I am 100% certain that it wasn’t by being a follower.
It seems that in our world, there are followers and there are leaders. While there can be some cross-over, for the most part we are one or the other.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Read the rest of this entry »
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Most of us live our lives without ever noticing our thoughts. When we don’t know what’s going on in our heads, most of the time we act unconsciously. We allow our reactive habits and behaviors to take over, and become like robots going through our programmed ways of dealing with life.
Which is a recipe for disaster. Read the rest of this entry »
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Is it possible to change shyness?
This past May, while attending the Innate Wellbeing Retreat in the UK, I had an epiphany about shyness–my own and that of being shy, in general.
As I was watching how people interacted, I noticed a few different personality types: Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Thought | Posted on 01-09-2015
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My motto lately is “Baby Steps.” Pretty sure it’s the key to everything!
Looking back at my life and accomplishments, it’s been a long series of baby steps. And it’s the same for you. How could it be any other way?
There is no other way to get from here to there. Read the rest of this entry »
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I’ve been using the phrase “Uncovering Our Innate Mental Health and Wellbeing” a lot lately. However, it occurred to me that some may not quite understand what that means means. I’m pretty sure those words wouldn’t have meant much to me a couple of years ago. The premise is that everyone–you, me, your neighbor, your spouse, your kids, murderers, cops, starving children in Africa–everyone, was born with a healthy mind. It’s our natural state. (That’s what the innate part means.)
Nobody is born angry, depressed or anxious. In other words, we are all born happy.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Healthy Activities, Thought | Posted on 07-07-2015
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Last week I had been listening to Michael Neill’s Effortless Success program (mostly because I love listening to Michael’s voice!) when I took a little kayak break in our local reservoir. As I was paddling about in the water, I realized how effortlessly I was able to get from point A to B. Now I’m not talking about physical effort. I certainly had to keep paddling in order to move forward, but it didn’t take any thinking. I simply looked where I wanted to go, paddled away and arrived. This was true whether I was heading for somewhere straight ahead or a more out of the way destination. My arms just knew the right amount of give and take that I would need to get there. Read the rest of this entry »
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It’s been over 2 years since I embarked on my personal transformational journey. What started out as a simple decision to lose weight, has taken me on a magical mystery tour of mega proportions. I’m still amazed at how that one decision could lead to transformation in so many areas of my life. Read the rest of this entry »
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Okay. I admit it. I’m somewhere within the second half of my life. Does this mean my life transformation has been part of a “Midlife Crisis”? I shudder at the thought. No crisis here! But I can see how the deep inner desire for change I experienced could be unsettling for some.
It’s clear that women in their 50’s seem to have some innate desire for change. Some do nothing (but complain) when those desires hit, others go hog wild and completely uproot their lives. Others, pursue their desires in a way that is positive and helpful. I like to think I’m in the latter group.
Midlife crises are often depicted in popular culture in a cliched manner. Career changes, leaving a spouse and taking up yoga seem to be some of the more popular cliches. Let’s examine these and see how valid they are. Read the rest of this entry »
