What Did You Do With Jill?Jill Whalen's healthy lifestyle transformation                                               

There is no such thing as “The Capitalist” Or “The Progressives,” or “The Liberals,” or “The Muslims,” or “The Jews,” or “The Homeless,” or “The Non-Dualists,” or “The 3 Principles Community,” or “The Republicans,” or “The Democrats,” or “The Rich,” or “The Poor,” or “The Atheists,” or “The Anti-Vaxxers” or “The Trumpists.” Or any other label we can dream up or imagine.

There are only images in our mind of what those labels mean.

We need labels in order to make sense of, and communicate within this world. However, they also create separation and divisiveness. We love those we feel part of, and hate those that seem in opposition. Yet if we take one individual from any group, it’s guaranteed they will have differing opinions from other members of the group. Which is also why there is often divisiveness within the groups themselves.

All Labels Are Stereotypes.

They are convenient shortcuts to help us be concise in our language. However, those shortcuts come with a price. When we use labels in everyday conversation, it suggests that there is some sort of solid entity that has a very specific set of beliefs, and dogma. The label itself, makes it “a thing” in and of itself. And yet, the “thing” doesn’t exist beyond our very own (unique) idea of what it means to be “that thing.”

What’s Really Happening?

Unfortunately, the vocal minority of most groups, is where we get our stereotypes. Or worse, the ones that say the most provocative things. They are often the most extreme members of those groups. Yet when those extreme views clash with ours, our categorizing brain likes to attribute them to the entire group.

For instance, some may think of Capitalists as “those people who want others to be poor because they are selfish and want all the money for themselves.”

Or some might think of Muslims as “those people who blow up buildings.”

Or perhaps some think of Liberals as “those people who want everything to be free in life, without realizing that the money has to come from somewhere.” And while there may be some members that have those beliefs and intentions, those views never describe the group as a whole.

Most groups are made up of well-intentioned people who want the best for the world and themselves.

So What Can We Do to Fix This Misunderstanding?

First, it’s very important to open up our own minds even just a tiny bit to consider what I’ve said above. That what we think of as a group, might in reality be the vocal minority within that group. If/when we do that, it can loosen up the image we have in our mind of that group.

Next, if we want to have a discussion about current events, or politics, or religion, or whatever else, rather than calling out an entire group of people as being bad, or wrong based on the words and deeds of a some, simply call out those specific people. In other words, if we don’t like people who blow up buildings (and who really does?) then talk about them specifically, rather than as a group.

For instance, there’s nothing wrong in saying “Those people who blow up buildings, shouldn’t be allowed in our country.” Why do we need to label them as part of a larger group where the majority wants nothing to do with such acts of violence?

And if we don’t like the idea of there being selfish people who want others to be poor so they can have all the money for themselves (and again…who really does?) then use that whole phrase, rather than a shortcut label. While it’s easier to substitute the one word “Capitalist,” it only describes some individuals within the larger group of Capitalists.

And if we don’t like the idea of people wanting to live off handouts without working for a living while we have to earn our money, then say that. There’s no need to place all Liberals under that umbrella.

In summary…

All groups are made up of unique individuals who have many varied points of view. Some we may agree with, others we may not. If we were to speak one-on-one with any individual member, I am certain we would find many areas of agreement and overlap of views. We would also realize that no group in and of itself is “all bad.”

It’s all in how we imagine them to be.

I welcome your thoughts.

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. There’s also a corresponding video.]

If you’ve read any of my blog posts, you know I write about how it’s our thoughts that create our entire experience of life. In other words, as much as it appears that other people and situations cause us to feel how we feel–they don’t. The way we feel in any given moment is always and only a factor of whatever thoughts happen to pop in our heads at that time.

You don’t have to believe me, but…

This is the “One Truth” of how the world works.

Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

You know the old saying “Mind your own business”? More and more I believe this is the key to a happy life. Heck, it probably should be the slogan for all of humanity!

While I don’t talk a whole lot and try to mind my own business, I can’t tell you how many times a day I say “Just keep your mouth shut”…to myself!

It wasn’t always this way. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

This past Sunday (May 1, 2016) marked 3 years since I began my transformational journey. What started as a simple decision to lose weight, has culminated in a whole new me–both physically and mentally.

Here’s a recap: Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Now that I’m often observing my thoughts, I’ve noticed some that surprise me.  For instance, I never thought of myself as judgmental, yet some of my thoughts tell me otherwise. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Have you looked at leaders in your space or community, and wondered how they got there?

There could be millions of different ways, but I am 100% certain that it wasn’t by being a follower.

It seems that in our world, there are followers and there are leaders. While there can be some cross-over, for the most part we are one or the other.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

If you’re into personal development and/or spiritual stuff, you may have noticed how you can read, listen or watch the same thing multiple times and hear something different.

It depends upon your mindset at the time. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Most of us live our lives without ever noticing our thoughts. When we don’t know what’s going on in our heads, most of the time we act unconsciously. We allow our reactive habits and behaviors to take over, and become like robots going through our programmed ways of dealing with life.

Which is a recipe for disaster. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Is it possible to change shyness?

This past May, while attending the Innate Wellbeing Retreat in the UK, I had an epiphany about shyness–my own and that of being shy, in general.

As I was watching how people interacted, I noticed a few different personality types: Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Okay. I admit it. I’m somewhere within the second half of my life. Does this mean my life transformation has been part of a “Midlife Crisis”? I shudder at the thought. No crisis here! But I can see how the deep inner desire for change I experienced could be unsettling for some.

It’s clear that women in their 50’s seem to have some innate desire for change.  Some do nothing (but complain) when those desires hit, others go hog wild and completely uproot their lives. Others, pursue their desires in a way that is positive and helpful. I like to think I’m in the latter group.

Midlife crises are often depicted in popular culture in a cliched manner. Career changes, leaving a spouse and taking up yoga seem to be some of the more popular cliches. Let’s examine these and see how valid they are.  Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version. You may also want to watch the video where I answer some questions about anxiety.]

Disclaimer: Anyone who’s followed me for any length of time knows I’d be the first to tell you that if you see a claim on a blog that says something like “be free from anxiety without doing anything!” you should leave that blog and never come back. Which is super ironic in that’s exactly what I’m about to tell you in this blog post. However, if you bear with me, I promise that what I’ve learned and seen work in my own life is not akin to some fake “overnight success” story where if you just send me all your money I’ll tell you the secret! Not in the least. First of all, I don’t want your money. Second of all, the “secret” if you will, is actually just common sense. But you know how common sense is–not common unless you actually know it. Sadly, most of us have grown up being taught the exact opposite of what I’m about to tell you.

Sooooo…if you haven’t been scared off yet and you trust me to deliver on the goods, then the worst that will happen is you’ll think I’m a quack and move on. The BEST is you’ll hear something that just might possibly change your life.

Intrigued? Then please continue… Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Last week my first stab at leading a 7 week online transformation program came to an end. For me, it was nerve-wracking, exciting, scary, fun, interesting, a great learning experience, and a whole lot more, all wrapped into one!

How it was for the participants, I’m not entirely sure. So far I’ve had feedback from a few  who found it helpful (one of whom has already signed up for my next program). I also got constructive criticism from a couple of people, which was helpful and with which I wholeheartedly agree. Read the rest of this entry »

By Jill Whalen

Back in 2011 when I was still heavily entrenched in my website marketing career, I wrote this article wondering why people thought Deceptive Marketing Was a Necessary Evil. Throughout my career I had seen examples of marketing through “white lies” such as those mentioned in the article, which always seemed like a bad idea to me.

Let me back up even further… Read the rest of this entry »

Now that I’m immersed in topics such as health, fitness and spirituality, I can’t help but notice some areas where bloggers could be doing a better job spreading their message. Interestingly, I see the same problems from blog to blog, which indicates that many may be simply copying what their peers do. I expect that there’s also some bad and/or old online marketing advice being spread around as well. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

As I was running home from my yoga class today (a hot and humid day) I was marveling at the fact that not only did I not mind the run, I was rather enjoying myself. It’s times like that where even I wonder “What did you do with Jill?”

During my run, I started thinking about the many other ways in which the current me is unrecognizable from the me that I was just one year ago. I came up with the following 17 things that you would not have seen me do last summer: Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Beyond The Golden Rule

We’ve all heard the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Which of course means that we should treat people the way we would want to be treated.

Otherwise known as “The Golden Rule.”

I’ve tried to live by this rule as much as possible throughout my life. For instance, I don’t like to be yelled at, or hit, or talked to incessantly about things that I’m not interested in, so I don’t do those things to others. And yet I’ve also found myself in situations where I’ve somehow managed to unwittingly upset people or hurt their feelings. Read the rest of this entry »

Helping Each Other

A friend of mine was in town recently and told me how she and her brother have been estranged for many years, however, she wanted to try to reunite with him. So she made some kind gestures to him, but he seemed to rebuff them. While she felt hurt by that, she continued to want to try to reunite, as she knew it was one of her father’s last wishes.

When she first told me this story, I had been  familiarizing myself with a new understanding of how life works. That is, from the inside out, rather than the outside in. She seemed receptive to hearing my opinion, so I shared with her my understanding as it applied to her situation as best I could. I wasn’t totally confident in my explanations, but what I was saying seemed to make sense and she was definitely grasping it as it applied to her. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

You Are Not Who You Think!

Most of us carry around a certain image of ourselves. I certainly did and still do, but I didn’t realize until recently how malleable that image can be. Read the rest of this entry »

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

Bad Thoughts Equal Bad Feelings

A few months ago I finally grasped a concept that I had been grappling with for quite some time:

Thoughts create feelings not the other way around. The difference between generally happy people, and generally sad (or mad, or whatever) people is their ability understand that simple concept. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey everyone! Here’s what I learned last week:

Monday, Mar. 31, 2014

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  Healthy, Savory Muffin Made in a Mug!

  How to make the mug muffins I learned about last week into savory ones: I first sauteed some mushroom, onion, spinach, and uncured turkey bacon (which appeared to basically be ham).  Then added them into a coffee mug, along with some feta cheese to 2 tblsp. ground flax seed, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 egg (beaten), 1/4 tsp. salt. Then I microwaved on high for 2 minutes (I have an old microwave which needs more time than newer, more powerful ones). Waited a minute or so to cool and the whole thing dumps right out onto a plate. I found that sticking the whole thing in the toaster oven for a few minutes helps dry it out a bit when it’s done as well. Yummy, healthy breakfast that keeps me full for many hours!

Read the rest of this entry »