Are You a Victim of Circumstance?

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Posted by Jill Whalen | Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, Thought | Posted on 05-03-2017

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Just Stand Up!

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

I saw a scene in a movie recently where a boy had fallen out of a boat and was thrashing around because he couldn’t swim. His friend on the shore yelled, “Just stand up!” As it turned out, he was in shallow water and simply needed to put his feet on the ground.

Once he knew he could stand, drowning was no longer an issue.

It’s the same with any misunderstanding.

As soon as it’s cleared up, we can never see it the way we did before. There’s no way we could let ourselves drown once we realize all we have to do is stand up.

For the first 51 years of my life, I lived with such a misunderstanding.

I mistakenly believed that situations and other people had the power to make me feel happy, sad, angry or scared. With that view of life, I sought out those who I thought made me feel good, and avoided those who seemed to make me feel bad.

Which caused me to be a victim of circumstance.

When I believed I needed others to make me feel good, I was screwed. Even the most perfect people are still fallible human beings. As such, they can be extraordinarily kind and loving one minute, and frighteningly mean the next.

By pinning my happiness on whomever (or whatever) human character might show up at any moment, I lived in a state of uncertainty. No wonder I was so stressed and anxious all the time.

Buying new stuff, creating better situations and/or taking the edge off with alcohol, wasn’t any better. They’d help for a little while, but it was never very long before they no longer “did it for me” and I’d be onto something else.

When it was finally pointed out to me that I had completely misunderstood this whole darn thing we call life, everything changed.

Once I learned that it was my thoughts and only my thoughts that create the feelings of happiness, sadness, fear and doubt inside of me, I was back on solid ground!

Which meant:

  • I no longer had to depend on others to make me feel good. (Yay! Cuz they can’t.)
  • I could try new things that I used to think were inherently scary. (Nothing comes with scariness built-in.)
  • I didn’t have to avoid potentially emotional situations. (There’s no such thing.)

When I insightfully saw that I had been seeing the world upside-down (or more accurately outside-in), I was free!

It was no different than if I mistakenly believed I was in deep water and about to drown, when all I needed to do was stand up.

It really is that simple.

We are literally one thought away from feeling better.

And that, my friends, is why I’m driven to doggedly share what I’ve learned with everyone and anyone who will listen to me. It’s that important. Knowing how the world actually works, completely clears up the compelling misunderstanding we’ve all bought into.

Please don’t take my word for it. Look at your own life.

Have you been looking towards others for your happiness?

How’s it working out for you?

While you’re welcome to hold onto the notion that other people, situations and material objects have some inherent ability to make you feel good, bad or indifferent–it’s not true.

Feel free to tread water the rest of your life so that you don’t drown.

Or perhaps you can just stand up.

It’s your choice.

Are you ready to see through your misunderstanding?

Do you dare take a chance that there might be solid ground under your feet?

If you need a cheerleader, I’m happy to keep yelling “Just stand up” for as long as necessary. Please get in touch!

–Jill

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CONTACT JILL WHALEN to learn how she may help you be the best you can be.

Jill is the author of Victim of Thought: Seeing Through the Illusion of Anxiety

For the past 20 years, Jill has consulted with companies big and small, and spoken at conferences all over the world. She is currently a transformational speaker and mentor to businesses, individuals, coaches, leaders, groups and organizations. She helps them uncover their natural well-being and happiness so that they can operate from a clearer state of mind and take their lives and businesses to a higher level.

Jill’s blog, What Did You Do With Jill? is a personal account of what she’s learned throughout her transformational journey. Jill has many “viral” articles on LinkedIn and is a contributing writer for P.S. I Love You.

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