What Did You Do With Jill?Jill Whalen's healthy lifestyle transformation                                               

[Jill’s Note: If you prefer to listen rather than read, please scroll to the bottom of this post for the audio version.]

My motto lately is “Baby Steps.” Pretty sure it’s the key to everything!

Looking back at my life and accomplishments, it’s been a long series of baby steps. And it’s the same for you. How could it be any other way?

There is no other way to get from here to there.

What’s interesting to me is the connection between baby steps and manifesting our desires. Some of you may know of my love-hate relationship with the law of attraction which stems from the way I see people often misunderstand it.

To me, manifesting desires happens from having thoughts about something we might like and then getting out of the way to let it unfold through a series of baby steps. We go through this process all-day, everyday without even realizing it.

For instance, I’ve had the fleeting thought that it would be cool to sing with a band. It’s literally been just a fleeting thought. Yet the other night it became a reality. I didn’t do “focus wheels” or visualizations, or keep it in my mind. It wasn’t even a goal. It was just a recurring, occasional thought that I noticed from time to time.

How I got there…

For most of my life (50+ years) I was deathly afraid to sing in public. Just a few short years ago there was probably a .01% chance of me singing with a band. Yet through a series of baby steps over time, it happened. This particular manifestation began with another desire and thought (as most do):

I wished I had the nerve to get up and sing karaoke.

I wanted to “just do it,” but couldn’t.

In my mind, I was someone who didn’t sing solo in public. Period. This was ingrained in me from all the back to elementary school when I wanted to try out for a singing role in “Mary Poppins” but was too frightened.

More recently when I would watch my oldest daughter sing karaoke effortlessly with no fear whatsoever, I was continuously awed. “How come she can do it and I can’t?” I’d ask myself, as if someone besides ME was holding me back. Finally, one day I mentioned to my daughter that I really wished I could get up there and sing. When she asked me why I couldn’t, all I could come up with was “I don’t know.”

Eventually I started to explore why.

Obviously it was fear, but what was it I was afraid of and why did it stop me? Interestingly enough, I couldn’t come up with any reasons that made much sense. I had been speaking in public for over a decade so it wasn’t the getting up in front of an audience part. Sure, I had the usual, “What if I suck?” and “What will people think?” thoughts, but those seemed silly considering plenty of others sucked big time and still sang.

It seemed as if there was more to it.

It was as if the simple act of singing in public would somehow kill me. Like if I went up there and started to sing, I’d just drop dead of embarrassment. It sounds dumb when I think of it now, and yet, that’s the feeling we have about the things we’re afraid of.

At some point I came to the realization that while I might get embarrassed, there was a good chance I’d probably not die. So I asked my daughter if I could sing with her the next time she was around on a karaoke night. Singing together seemed like a good start and not as scary (baby steps!). In the days leading up it, I practiced a bunch of songs (thank you Youtube!) until I was comfortable with a few of them. And then, without even a boatload of alcohol in me, I did it! Other than my anxious thoughts leading up to it, it wasn’t that scary while in the midst of it.

In fact, it was fun!

[A friend just uploaded the below video from a recent karaoke night.]

That baby step enabled me to be more comfortable with the idea of singing solo. It helped me see that I could sing in public without dieing. In fact, I sang a solo that very night! While I’m sure my first few songs didn’t sound great because I was still very nervous, each song I sang, i.e., each baby step I took, brought me a little more comfort. After a few months, I was belting out songs with the best of them, and receiving some kudos along the way!

So how did all these baby steps–from public speaking, to singing a karaoke duet, to nervously singing solos, to belting out songs–lead to singing with a band?

Me Singing With The Band!

As it turns out, the guy who runs our karaoke is also in a band. One of the songs I’ve been singing lately (Stuck in the Middle by Steeler’s Wheel) happens to be one that they play. When I sang it at karaoke, he asked if I wanted to sing it with them that weekend. Without really thinking about it, I said sure! And a couple of nights later, I did just that. Without practice or fanfare, I just did it.

With that, my desire had manifested.

There’s absolutely no way I could have sung with a band at any other point in my life (without a gun pointed to my head). But because I took the baby steps I did, the whole thing was nearly effortless. And it all stemmed from a fleeting thought.

When you look at it this way, imagine what’s possible for desires that are more than fleeting. Can you see that the sky’s really the limit? On second thought, screw the sky…even that’s too limiting. There are truly no limits to what I or you or anyone can manifest!

All it takes is baby steps.

What steps are you taking right now that’s unfolding your magnificent path? –Jill

P.S. This “Wisdom on the Water” video I made recently speaks to the same thing using a different analogy:

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Jill Whalen

CONTACT JILL WHALEN to learn how she may help you be the best you can be.

Jill is the author of Victim of Thought: Seeing Through the Illusion of Anxiety

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For the past 20 years, Jill has consulted with companies big and small, and spoken at conferences all over the world. She is currently a transformational speaker and mentor to businesses, individuals, coaches, leaders, groups and organizations. She helps them uncover their natural well-being and happiness so that they can operate from a clearer state of mind and take their lives and businesses to a higher level.

Jill's blog, What Did You Do With Jill? is a personal account of what she's learned throughout her transformational journey. Jill has many "viral" articles on LinkedIn and is a contributing writer for P.S. I Love You.

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